Week 12- Power

This week in our class we read an article by Richard B. Miller, titled “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families”. This talk was given at a BYU Conference on Family Life.
Towards the beginning of the article he says, “In healthy, well-functioning families, there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children. Parents are the “executive committee” and the “board of directors” of a family. As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership.” This was a great insight to me as I feel this is commonly misunderstood. Today it is trendy to make sure you are on the same level as your children and focus on being their friend more than their parent. This quote criticizes  that mindset. As parents we need to make sure we are not dictators to our children. As children we need to be respectful and obedient to our parents.
Another quote from the study by Dr. Richard Miller is, “Children often try to play their parents off of each other. Consequently, it is important that parents make sure that they are working together and making decisions that are consistent with each other. Except in cases of abuse, passively not supporting the other parent or actively undermining the authority of the other parent causes serious damage to children.” Those quote expands on the idea that parents need to be unified leaders. One spouse is not more important the other, and they both are equal companions and parents. My parents were a great example to me in this throughout my childhood and teeange years. When my siblings or I would act out and need to be disciplined by parents would always back each other up regardless of that was their first choice or not. They were able to do this because neither of my parents were abusive. This showed to me the importance of being a team with your spouse. My parents were united and so I knew I could not turn them against each other nor get one to agree to something when the other told me no.

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 10, 2018 at 6:40 PM

    I think that you have a great perspective on this said topic, more people should read this!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week 13- In Laws

                    In my class this week one of the blog writing prompts to get my brain flowing was this: "When a couple gets married the Lord’s way they build eternal relationships — relationships that will never end. If we and extended family are true to temple covenants, not only will the husband-wife relationship be eternal, so will our ties with extended family and in-laws. Having said this, an important question arises: “How important is it to you to build close relationship with your in-laws?” Building close relationships may require time, effort, patience, and forgiveness. It may be difficult."            The first part shares AMAZING doctrine! We will be with our spouse for all eternity when we build it the Lord’s way. And on top of that, our relationships with our family members will also be eternal. It is crucial that we build close relationships with in-laws.       ...
Read more

Week 8- Pride

  Pride. It is common when we hear that word that we often first do not think of ourselves, but someone else who we feel is guilty of being prideful. That is a common way to know if we are guilty of pride or not. We learn from previous president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Ezra Taft Benson, that there is no such thing as righteous pride. All pride is sin. Pride is feeling enmity towards God and others. Pride causes us to have feelings of selfishness, gossip, look down on others, and criticize others.             The opposite of pride in a marriage is turning to and valuing your spouse. A spouse who does not listen to their spouse and take their input can be found guilty of pride. In Gottman’s book,  The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work , he says “statistically speaking when a man is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81% percent chance that this marriage will ...
Read more

Week 7- Bids of Affection

In Gottman's book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" he talks about how couples are always making "bids" for each other's attention, affection, humor, and/or support. Examples of this would be asking for help with the dishes, asking for a back rub, or attempting to talk about your day. A spouse can respond to this by either turning towards or away from their spouse. Gotten says, "A tendency to turn towards your partner is the basis of trust, emotional connection, passion, and a satisfying sex life." This is saying that we want to turn towards instead of against our spouse because we want to feel connected and that love for our spouse. This week in my class we are getting the opportunity to track our "bids" in our marriage. This was interesting for me as I had previously never thought of the times I asked by husband to sit by me or that he asked me to help him do something that were "bidding" for each other. Th...
Read more