Week 7- Bids of Affection


In Gottman's book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" he talks about how couples are always making "bids" for each other's attention, affection, humor, and/or support. Examples of this would be asking for help with the dishes, asking for a back rub, or attempting to talk about your day. A spouse can respond to this by either turning towards or away from their spouse. Gotten says, "A tendency to turn towards your partner is the basis of trust, emotional connection, passion, and a satisfying sex life." This is saying that we want to turn towards instead of against our spouse because we want to feel connected and that love for our spouse.
This week in my class we are getting the opportunity to track our "bids" in our marriage. This was interesting for me as I had previously never thought of the times I asked by husband to sit by me or that he asked me to help him do something that were "bidding" for each other. This week taught me that I sure seem to bid a lot for my husband, even though he is always giving me support and attention. 
These little bids, or services to each other, are the way to strengthen our marriages and our foundation of love. If we are helping each other out and lending support in little ways our spouse's stress level is able to go down and we feel drawn to each other as we serve each other.
Bids can even come in the form of a complaint. Often I complain to my husband about my homework and how much I have to do. He will always ask me what he can do to help me with my school work and what he can do so I have more time. This has lifted a huge stress off of me as I know I have his help and support to get all the little day-to-day stuff done. 

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