Week 9- Anger

            This week in my Marriage class we discussed various types of marital problems, forgiveness, and anger. What struck me the most was the topic of anger. Anger is something I have thought a lot about the past two years because I have decided that I want to never lash out in anger again. Becoming angry can make us feel and say things we would not normally say if we were calm. It has been said that “anger is a yielding to Satan’s influence by surrendering our self-control”. We studied a talk given by Lynn G. Robins titled “Agency and Anger”. This talk had a profound influence on me. Agency is the ability to choose, and so Lynn G. Robbins explained that we can choose whether we are angry or not. He said, “Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry.” There is no such thing as someone making us angry or simply losing our temper. We can control how we act because we have been given the agency to do so. “Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives”. Whether you feel that you that anger issues runs in your family, or that you have too much going on to not be angry, or whatever else your excuse is, it is possible to not get angry! And with the Lord’s help you can accomplish your goal of never getting angry again.
            Anger can have a direct negative influence on your marriage. If you are becoming angry at your spouse you need to step back. Taking a deep breath, counting to ten or walking away to cool off are all great suggestions. You will not be able to have a positive conversation with your spouse if one or both of you is angry. For me, I have found that when I take a break from a conversation that is intense, I often think more rationally when it gets brought up again.

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