Week 4- Contract vs. Covenant Marriage

This week in class we continued to study the wonderful topic of.....marriage! One of the talks we read and pondered was called "Covenant Marriage" by Bruce C. Hafen. This is a talk I recommend for all to read and enjoy. Within this talk he talked about the difference between contract and covenant companions.
Contract companions go into the marriage focusing on what they are going to get out of the marriage. They promise to do something only on the terms that their spouse does something in return or first. A contract companion only gives 50% expecting their spouse to give the other 50%. 
Covenant companions go into the marriage committing to their spouse and to the Lord that they are going to be faithful and devoted. They give 100% to their marriage as well as their companion gives 100% to the marriage. They do not focus on what they can take from their marriage but instead focus on helping their spouse be happy and grow. As they give they are benefited, more united with their spouse, and are going to receive priceless blessings from doing so.
I have only been married three weeks, but I can already feel the difference in the mindsets. One day after sharing my learning with my husband I was working on some homework at the dinner table. My husband started working on all the dishes, and so I told him to stop and that it was my turn. He turned around and jokingly said he could do them because he wasn't just giving 50% to this marriage. He was being silly, but in all honesty he was 100% right. At that moment to me he was being a covenant partner. He cared about my success in school work and the time I was spending on it instead of feeling resentful towards me because I had not finished all the dishes. If he would have had a contract mindset he would have left them and been annoyed they were sitting there because I did not complete my half. 
To me, a covenant spouse is the only spouse I want. A covenant spouse does not quit the second something goes wrong or they have a bad day. They are committed to making things work, even when things get a little sticky. This could be anything from just having a tough day at work to having a little bit of a debate with me. A covenant spouse will only want to solve these issues and give their all to make sure their their spouse is happy and really just has peace in their relationship. 
 Bruce C. Hafen says in his message, "Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said, “I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.” Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children and from each other."
We need to give all we have to the covenants we make. In this example a shepherd is motivated by love and the hireling is only motivated selfishly for the reward of money. This covenant is a promise that we have between ourselves (the spouses) and God.  It is a very serious commitment that is so much more than a contract. Having said this, the reward for being faithful to this covenant is better than anything we can imagine and will bless us throughout our mortal lives too. 

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